He asked for an Elf…
The other night at dinner, the kids were telling us what they wanted Santa to bring them. My son who, this month, turned 4, chimes in and says, “I asked Santa to bring me an Elf. That way he can make me any toys I want.”
So I’m not quite sure how to take this, but I’m pretty sure my son is happy supporting some sort of slavery or indentured servitude. Well, all in the name of new toys, right?
December 19th, 2005 at 1:05 pm
Naw, he’s just savvy at exploiting contractual loopholes. I’m pretty sure this is a variation on the “wishing for more wishes” theme. Maybe he’s a future corporate attorney.
December 19th, 2005 at 4:23 pm
Reminds me more of Steve Jobs; “Go right to the top and bring me the best”. This ensures not only a lasting investment and top rate work (not to mention labor and tax free) but also that he gains new relationships with people in higher places and invests in a possible blackmail identity.
Watch out or he will be dating reporters next!
December 19th, 2005 at 5:07 pm
Clever.. very clever. He’s thinking ahead, planning for AFTER Christmas.
December 23rd, 2005 at 6:24 pm
Brilliant! If he wishes for an elf a year, by the time he’s 18, he’ll have 14 elves working in his bedroom. By that time, he could start a toy store, a small accounting firm, maybe an ad agency. Elves are creative thinkers. If he keeps on with the elf a year idea after he’s 18, he could hire someone from the Ford Focus division to streamline production and automate a lot of the North Pole processes. Eventually he’d be position to go after the big guy himself. Even if he outstripped production, he’d probably have to partner with Santa on delivery because that whole world in a night thing is hard to beat.
December 29th, 2005 at 8:08 pm
So toys all year, huh? It was my understanding that Elves these days only make etch-a-scetches and fuel injected turbine engines. They also look good on the front lawn at grandma’s. Actually those are the other guys. Im pretty sure theres a lot of competition between those. I think the travelocity gnome got the best job of them all. Maybe he’ll be at macworld.
December 29th, 2005 at 8:52 pm
Well, I don’t think it’s either slavery or indentured servitude. Here’s the thing…Santa would, in theory, be bringing a North Pole Elf, which is an entirely different kind of elf from, say, the Legolas-ish elf. (Which is in and of itself a good thing, as you’d have a heap of trouble keeping Legolas in your home without also having his boyfriend, Gimli, dwarving up the living room all the time.) Now the NPE (as we shall now call them) is specifically a toy-making elf. Does an NPE even *do* anything else? Thus, as a seeing eye dog is not being tortured when it works for people because that’s just what seeing eye dogs do, then a NPE would, in theory, be just as happy making toys for your kid(s) as he would making toys for Santa.
Which isn’t to say that the NPE doesn’t have value in a non-toy-making capacity, or that NPEs are any less intelligent than any other kind of elf. But I recommend avoiding a female NPE just in case…you don’t want a Sally Hemming thing happening…
December 29th, 2005 at 8:57 pm
And just like that, Darla redefines The Line, its placement, and its purview…
Gotta love her. 🙂